[*&& She's Just Forgotten]

I don't even know what i aim for, for posting this. I just feel the need the explain it and maybe i can get some explanations?. xD. That'd be very helpful.

Okay, so i keep getting these crazy arse thoughts into my head. But the one that's troubling me most is my touch light. For months now, i've had insomnia, some nights are worse than others. But just recently, i've been feeling like my eyelids are going to glue theirself to my face and stay there because i'm so tired, so i choose to lay down and try to get some sleep, but the moment my head hits the pillow, i'm wide awake. But the other night, something strange happened & now it keeps happening, & getting stuck in my head.

I tossed and turned for hours on end, just at the hope that i might get some sleep. But then suddenly i came over all un-easy and i felt like something was in my room... At every little noise i heard i freaked out, it was unreal. I was so scared to moved that i just layed still, frozen trying to hold my breath thinking that if i moved this thing would get me. It felt like it was right beside my bed, then id get images in my head of what ever it was, coming up right close to my face, leaning over my bed just staring at me, agrily. like it wanted an explanation or something. Then suddenly, all i could think about was my damn touch light. the thought of the touchlight was scaring me, but i was freaking out so much by this point i had to get some light into my room so i braved and reached out and quickly made my room light up with the simple touch to my light. It made me feel a little better and the comfort of not lying in the dark that i was able to breathe a little easier. So i calmed myself down a little and tryed to get to sleep. But this is the thing thats puzzling me. Everytime i closed my eyes, the image of the touch light was implanted into my brain. I opened my eyes i was tired. I closed them i was wide awake & there was the light. It felt like this light was keeping me awake, but i was NOT aloud to turn it off. The longer it stayed on the crazier the thoughts got. I felt like it was trying to tell me something (as crazy as it sounds) like with the light being on it'd determin something......Like the brightness and something else would determin something and how it would happen. I just cant make sense of it. But its like my light will just determin how powerful something is? by how bright the light was? . Maybe i couldn't sleep because i coucldn't work out what the message was. Ugh....its really hard for me to explain. this makes no sense,i guess its why its a little hard me explaining it.

& and now everynight, i get the same thing,, making my insomnia worse, and resulting in me not being able to sit in the dark and stuff. I just wish i could make any sense of all of this, and what my light is telling me it'll determin.

=S. well if you've read this all and dont think im crazy then thank you sooo much,,but if anyone could explain this, id be even more greatful.

Thank you =)
Caz xx