How close I was to leaving, how close I was to taking an OD, how close I was to cutting beyond the point of no return, how close I was to just ending everything.
How much I needed them, how much I still do. How much I wanted to be stopped, how much I wanted them to make it ok, how much I need them to help me now.
How strong the urges are, how hard it is to fight, how it isn't a choice when it's all you can think about.
How I really feel.
How much I am sorry for being such a mess up, and how much I love them and always will.
How much stupid things upset me, how much I struggle everyday, I'm not the person people think I am.
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