you are not worthless. who defines average anyway? who says that your mind isn't worth saving? i used to work with people who were severely disabled, not able to live on their own, had serious cognitive impairments. i dont want to be like harsh/rude but they had disabilities, too, sort of like how mental illness is a disability, and they sure were not smarter than average, but did that mean that their lives and health weren't worth fighting for? not at all and i am sure that few people would disagree. so is a mental illness any different? no - it isn't. depression and SI and all of that crap that we deal with doesnt make us any less worth fighting for and just because you may not be a genius and super-smart doesnt mean that you aren't worth the effort. we are all worth the effort, be we severely disabled or mentally ill or whatever.
also, you do have control of your life and you don't have to SI in order to keep it. we all are in control of our lives, and if anything i feel like the SI makes me LESS in control because i get obsessed with the behavior and think about it all the time and lose track of other things. anyway, the SI is actually not helping us be in control at all because we already have that control and in terms of keeping stable and being independent, we need to get better and be healthy in order to maintain it.
do you have anybody to talk to? counsellor at school or your doc? you can get better and they can help hun you dont have to do it alone. xxxooo callie
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