hi.
first of all although its scary im gad you have realised that your eating disorder has control. this means you know whats making you ill and it makes it easier for you to get help to beat this. :)
as rachel said, get yourself some help. do you have any friends or family around you who are aware you are struggling? maybe someone you could tell?
talking to us is a great step and we will always listen.
if you are planning something i think it would be a good idea to go to a hospital or a walk in centre and tell them. i know it sounds like it would defeat the whole purpose of the planning, but im still saying it, cs you need to be safe until you are able to regain control of yourself and the eating. and then everything will start to get better and you;'ll be able to see the good things in life again and you'll be so glad you fought through this.
sorry for rambling post :p
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