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Its not a thing thats that easy to say but i honestly mean it. Im ready to die.
And you'll probably tell me that im not, because hey, im got up this morning, i got to college. And the fact that i actually said it would probably lead you to belive im not serious cause Theirs nothing wrong today cause i do what i do every day. People arent supposed to hurt like this and their not supposed to go through so much shit. People arent supposed to be alone. This world aint designed for the people who cant cope and i aint designed to keep on fighting to stay alive when its the last thing i want to do. I know that theirs something inside of me that'l make all this worth it one day. But how the f*** am i supposed to keep "coping" till then. People just do it. I just do it. But i know the second i stop is the second il give in.
Please dont let me give in.
Maybe one day il get my reward for this shit. Il get somebody rapping their arms around me til its ok to let go. Its a fools hope right?
I have never wanted to end it so much in my entire life, and believe me when i say it. But do you get what i mean when i say its impossible?
That whatever pain it is you got to live through it cause who wants to die a selfish cunt. "Im a pimp and pimps dont commit suicide" im not a pimp but you get what i mean.
Even if i hold a gun to my head at the doctors or psychs, they stil wont listen to how bad it is.
I have no idea what to do.
I cant even sit here and cry.
I cant go home.
I dont have anyone to call.
so yeah...im screwed.
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