I didn't find the few AA meetings I went to to be very helpful. Maybe they were even harmful. I realise these mtgs will be different depending on where they are and all. My experience is that AA is a group that is good for men. There are some AA groups for women only, just not in my area, so maybe that would be better. My reasons for thinking it is a male thing, is because it was really founded to help men. All this turning over your control stuff, knowing you are powerless against your addiction, and making ammends. Well, that to me is for men. Women, have always struggled with power. If anything, women need to be told they are powerful and powerful enough to take care of themselves. Not that they are powerless and insignificant. I don't know if this makes sense or anything. The making ammends thing is hurtful. I know I drink/drank to avoid my depression, that is mostly caused by my lack of power in life as somewhere along the way I gave myself over to my husband. To go around asking for forgiveness for my drinking (yes, I do admit that I messed up and I'm glad I never really hurt anyone due to my substance abuse) is like kicking me further down. I just want to get better and move forward. You know? I have looked at some other addiction websites that have helped a bit. When I was at my worst I posted here a few times in the substance abuse section, all tho it was kinda slow, not a lot of responses. I did find a site called lifering that seemed a little more helpful than AA. I hope you do good. It is good that you are able to drink so in control. I wish I could. Maybe I can someday.
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