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blondiebear · 06-05-2008, 03:29 AM

I grew up in a home where my only worth seemed to be in how much I did to take care of my mother and sister and the house and the yard, and in how by being a good child and a good student, I made my mother look good.

In school I was the weirdo, the person they absolutely did not want to be friends with.

I still get afraid when I feel like i'm not doing enough. That I have to earn love by helping out.

I don't like crowds and noise but now I've not even been running my errands in the quiet parts of the week. Jumping when I'm touched unexpectedly even when it is with affection, makes me feel bad for myself because I have PTSD and bad for others because I don't want them upset cause I really do like them.

Sorry for barging in on your thread.

06-05-2008, 03:29 AM	#13
blondiebear Bringing back the lost art of Sewing Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: California Confusion I am currently:	I grew up in a home where my only worth seemed to be in how much I did to take care of my mother and sister and the house and the yard, and in how by being a good child and a good student, I made my mother look good. In school I was the weirdo, the person they absolutely did not want to be friends with. I still get afraid when I feel like i'm not doing enough. That I have to earn love by helping out. I don't like crowds and noise but now I've not even been running my errands in the quiet parts of the week. Jumping when I'm touched unexpectedly even when it is with affection, makes me feel bad for myself because I have PTSD and bad for others because I don't want them upset cause I really do like them. Sorry for barging in on your thread.
	My husband is my best friend. In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.