[bleedingdragon]

Cindy, Cindy my dear friend,
I have had you in my thoughts and i hope you are managing my friend.
Your hugs comfort me thank you so much
im glad my art speaks to you even if its hard to put into words. If i didnt do this artwork im scared to think what id be like, sometimes i wish i couldnt do the art and could rip out my stuff and be rid of it instead.

Im one screwed up headcase ,
my assesment with a psychiatrist and not the psychologist went bad, he
was a nice guy, but i dont think he wanted to take on my **** theres so much. He looked like he was distancing himself from my ****, he said oh we can only offer 20 sessions of counselling on NHS.

But looking at you dave you get too traumatised with your stuff so you would need more than 20 sessions, so i cant offer you any counselling and no mention of seing the psychologist. Er what we can offer if they think they can help me is " Art therapy - ive already done 200 pieces of artwork, i still need more help than an art therapist. And er group therapy thats not going to help i need a one to one, i feel too damaged and abandoned.

And that they wont take me on they are just shifting me onto someone else, i saw my dr and shes trying to contact psychiatrist to talk to him. I see the psychiatrist in less than 3 weeks to see if the art therapy/group therapy is worth it.

I got scared and looked on the web and found a drs question and answer forum, someone said, they had a patient just like me who was told they wont be counselled cause they need more than 20 sessions and he got his dr to tell the psychiatrist to see if he could have longer counselling. He was put on another :( waiting list to see psychiatrist again.

I hope i can pursuade my psychiatrist through my dr to accept me for longer counselling, i bet i wont be accepted cause they dont have the funds.
I feel like giving up so much its getting harder im still fighting just dont know how long for.

hugs you loads

Dave