be proud of yourself for getting this all out and sharing and being honest because that is a brave thing and a good thing
i hope it helped to vent
i am sorry the meds have been hard, switching around, and not helpful
meds are like that, you have to test them out and try a bunch and fail until you find what works but it can be worth it to stick it out and find a good one if you are up for it
same for counselling - i really think now might be a good time to give it a try again and really go because infrequent counselling as you found out really doesnt help, you kind of have to put your time in and go regularly (as much as it sucks and is the opposite of fun and actually sometimes something you dread) but then you do get better and make progress (apparently....so i have heard....... i am in the early stages but i am trying and waiting for progess........ not very patiently in case you hadnt noticed). you could keep seeing the uni counsellor and maybe they could refer you to somebody permanent? somebody you can surely see year-round?
i also think that it could be good to talk to your husband about all of this - like let him know about your urges and how you have been feeling lately. let him know and support you. you have made it through this before, felt not depressed and seen the light or whatever it is, so you can do it again honey! this doesnt have to be it, to be permanent. it can go away and you can feel better. fight and hang in there.
xxxooo callie
|