things have really fallen apart . to the extremes. i'm losing it again and so fast. things are so mixed up, so all over the place, people in me just dont know what to do.
smalls ended up wetting the bed. had a nightmare...half way through caught what was happening and ran, still a mess - sheets in the wash , scrub the mattress, start again...just want to rip myself to shreds. who i am ? no excuse for this, and how can i ever be hopeful as a mother if i cant even stop myself from pissing the ****ing bed. i know what its about - i know this nightmare...but i thought it'd gone..or at least didn't affect me so badly. i'm so angry at myself. angry and ashamed
