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why is it back?
this is my first time posting and i have no idea if this is the right forum. i'm sorry if it's not but anyway, about 2 years ago i went through a really bad phase of SI and did it most days and this lasted for maybe half a year or so. then suddenly i stopped doing it so frequently and stopped for months and months at a time until i stopped altogether. about half a year ago i had a big argument with a best friend and cut myself. i was ashamed after not doing it for so long but thought it was a once off as i didn't feel the urge to do it again for a long long time. then about 8 weeks ago i did it again and now i seem to be spiralling down into an awful hole. i havn't actually cut since then but there is hardly a day where i am not fighting the urge for most of the day. it seems to be a lot worse than even the first time, i'm crying just about every night for no reason. there is nothing wrong with my life but i feel awful and the fact that i feel awful makes me feel quilty.
i don't think i have the strength to go through this again and i don't know how to get this knot inside of me, away. i thought i'd beaten it and now it's reared its head again.
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