Posting here is an awesome first step.
I'm going to suggest to you the awesome advice that you gave me - maybe you could print out what you have written here and bring it to your psych?
I think that the progression of your SI is a reflection of how horrible you are feeling right now - it is the way that you are trying to hold on, the only way you know of dealing with pain right now. But you're also finding that it isnt that effective in the long-term and you need more right now. It's okay to ask for help - we all need it sometimes. You will get through this. The most important thing is to be honest and open and let help in. If you arent ready to tell your psych everything, tell your friends or family or whoever you feel most comfortable with. Keep posting here and we will cheer you on!
GO MATTHEW!!! YOU CAN DO IT!! YES YOU CAN!! YAAAY!!!!
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