[Margo]

.....starting to harm more.

Im not eating properly either.

I thought i was getting better but things seem to be getting harder.

I told the psych again yesterday that all i want from her is to help me kill myself.

Im really frightened. Im petrified of life, i guess because i see none for myself.

My cutting, although minor compared to my usual standards is getting deeper and deeper and the thurst for pain is getting stronger too.

I dont know how to ask for help. I think this is one of the hardest posts ive ever made. Its taken me about a week to do so.

I just cant see a future that doesnt have me failing and suffering.

I know everything there is to know about how i want to kill myself.

Yet the worst torment of all is that im terrified of dying. That has to be the cruelest hand of all to be dealt.

Im in Hell. Complete hell here.

Im trying to be funny and silly. Im slowly dying again.

tears of a clown...............