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Therapists and Promises
every week I attend a therapy appointment, every week we discuss my self harm and methods on how to delay what seems to be inevitable. I am lucky in a sense because my therapist has never told me that I have to stop of anything like that, instead she is supportive and suggests things which i can do to delay doing it or even to damage control. And every week I promise her that I will try to be careful, that I will delay it for as long as I can.
But every week, I seem to leave her session and as soon as I get an urge I act on it with no thoughts to limiting myself what so ever. So why do I keep telling her that I will try? and how do I explain to her that I dont want to try, that currently I like self harming and dot particularly want to stop.
An is this even a normal feeling or am I losing it in someway. I dont think I have wanted to stop since started. I always tell myself that if I want to I can, but i just dont want to.
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