thank you for the replies, they were very thoughtful. i've got wound up in my own, head, forgetting other ways of seeing things.
'he' isn't anyone, or rather, he is everyone, like all th different colours of the rainbow making white light. i am told he isn't real but for me, he is as real as anything else. i forget what is real and end up self-harming because i can find in it a cause, effect and solution when the rest of the world seems alien.
i am in trouble with 'him' because he had said i had to kill myself, and instead, i told someone how bad i was feeling, and since then, allowed opportunities for carrying out his wishes to be taken away from me, because i was afraid. so he is angry with me and so i cut to make up for being alive.
i'm meant to be trying to stop SH, but i can't.
|