*hands out medals while asking who wants metal ones and who wants chocolate ones*
Reading and responding is what we do for each other. Trust your friend. Take it in baby steps. I hope you are honest and persistent about ignoring and not participating in the gossip.
I think you are looking for reassurance that you are a good and valuable person, that you have worth.
The fact that you can ask for help is an indicator that you realize you have a problem and are willing to ask for help to improve your situation. That means that you don't have an overwhelming ego and that you do care enough about yourself to see if you can improve things.
I know what I look like too but I tend to see the bad stuff. I try to let people tell me what the good stuff is and accept it. Like okay, I have whiteheads in my 40's. Blech. But because my skin is naturally well nourished and doesn't need moisturiser or anything, I don't have many wrinkles or much sun damage so I look younger than I am.
As you continue to work on your self, as much of a cliche as it is, the beauty within will shine through. It probably always does and always has. Pretty is as pretty does and there are plenty of people out there who may not have the most attractive features but as soon as you talk to them for a minute, you realize that they are beautiful!
As you get to know yourself and trust yourself you will see how beautiful you are.
*gives you a reassuring hug*
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