oh and to top it off i got a letter from uni saying they had withdrawn my application! i wrote to them to defer my application as i was hving chemo etc but they didnt get my letter, said i missed my interview and withdrew me!!!!!! ok so i couldnt go anyway but it thrust a nail right through my heart to see it in writing. i have always been nothing and now its never going to change. i only ever wanted to be SOMETHING. anything but this.
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