i hate keeping secrets from you.
and i didn't really stop when you thought i did.
and i'd probably lie about it if you asked me.
and there's something else you don't know.
i don't know how you'd react.
but i just can't tell you.
if i told you, it might be one of the worst things i ever did.
but it could also be one of the better judgements i made.
but i just can't.
and it kills me.
what i want more than anything?
to make you happy.
for everything to be alright, instead of me just pretending.
to be the person you think i am.
to not have these secrets.
i wish i could fix it all before you ever found out...so you'd never have to know. maybe i wouldn't feel so bad then.
but i can't and i'm so afraid.
|