If you can get more help, and you think it might improve the way you think of yourself (I think it will, but it will probably take a long time, as I'm sure you know), then do it! Your thoughts sound absolutely miserable, and you are so brave for posting and telling us about them. You deserve to have a happier existence--I know from your postings here that you are a beautiful, kind person.
I'm thinking about you and praying that you're able to find the support you need. Try not to cut...you are strong!!!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
D'Arcy
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