Of course its not too much to ask for sweetheart, everyone deserves to feel happy and free. I know it doesnt seem like it right now, but you can get through this, and things always change, even when it feels like you're doing nothing.
Have you tried seeing a counsellor? It sounds like it could really help you to have someone (in 'real life') to talk to about this, I know how overwhelming everything can seem when you're trying to cope by yourself.
good luck hun, I really hope things start to improve for you soon
xxxx
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