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bitzy · 24-03-2008, 05:33 PM

cos at this moment i really dont think this depression will ever stop or ever go away

i just want to be ok not even happy just ok, is that an awful lot to ask for? i dont think so but for sum reason ive been cursed with this constant dark mood..

it feels like im falling nd i cant stop myself nd have no1 2 help me.. i know im prob like a broken record cos ive said this loads of times already but i have 2 get it off my chest, this is the only place i feel safe to say it..

i hate myself.... my arms nd legs are covered in scars from cutting nd now burn marks
my physiotherapist saw them today(i think he saw them b4 but didnt want to say anything)nd asked me about them.... do ya know wat i did?? i laughed it off even tho i was screamin inside wantin to tell him that i dont want to live anymore nd i do it so i can feel something.but i didnt. i made up an excuse then so that i didnt have to go running wit him 2day...

normally i would never miss a run cos its the only thing keepin me alive but im even starting to lose interest in that...... i dont see the point in doing anything, everything is so hard

sorry for rambling....

24-03-2008, 05:33 PM	#1
bitzy Kate Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Limerick Ireland I am currently:	will it ever stop?????? cos at this moment i really dont think this depression will ever stop or ever go away i just want to be ok not even happy just ok, is that an awful lot to ask for? i dont think so but for sum reason ive been cursed with this constant dark mood.. it feels like im falling nd i cant stop myself nd have no1 2 help me.. i know im prob like a broken record cos ive said this loads of times already but i have 2 get it off my chest, this is the only place i feel safe to say it.. i hate myself.... my arms nd legs are covered in scars from cutting nd now burn marks my physiotherapist saw them today(i think he saw them b4 but didnt want to say anything)nd asked me about them.... do ya know wat i did?? i laughed it off even tho i was screamin inside wantin to tell him that i dont want to live anymore nd i do it so i can feel something.but i didnt. i made up an excuse then so that i didnt have to go running wit him 2day... normally i would never miss a run cos its the only thing keepin me alive but im even starting to lose interest in that...... i dont see the point in doing anything, everything is so hard sorry for rambling....
	Last cut: 23 march Last OD: 17 February You shine on like everything around you. You shine on, my spirit will surround you. Like a bird in flight I will release you. You shine on.