I-Feel-Infinite - I think I can understand how you feel about baptism. I was baptised as a baby, but I've felt 'unworthy' also, I think most of us have. There's nothing I can say that will change that, but please try to remember that none of us are 'worthy' of salvation. We're all sinners, every single one of us, and the fact that you self-harm does NOT make you any worse than anyone else. The absolutely amazing, wonderful thing is that God loves us all anyway, unconditionally and He won't ever stop. So no matter how bad you feel about whatever you've done, and no matter how much you think you don't deserve God's love and salvation, He's still going to be there to welcome you with open arms. If baptism is going to bring you closer to God, then I would say it's definitely a good thing. How you feel is absolutely important, but I'm learning that I can't just base my relationship with God on how I feel at any given time. If there are times when I feel guilty and unworthy, or angry, or it just seems to hard to pray and live a faithful life, it's all too easy to just distance myself from Him, but that's the worst thing I could possibly do. I should try my very hardest to be a good Christian, and I should lean on Him always, no matter what I actually feel like. Maybe something to consider? However, I would also say that if you don't feel ready for this, then there is absolutely nothing forcing you to do it. If you need more time, then that's fine - no-one is going to judge you for it, it's between you and God. You DO have a choice. Talk to you dad, even if it's just to tell him you're having doubts about whether you're ready or not. As for the short sleeves, I don't really know what to suggest. Do you have scars on both your arms? If not, you could always just wear a bandage / tubi-grip or something. How would you feel about your scars being visible? I really hope you work something out and come to the decision that's best for you.
Happy Easter everyone!!
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