Hey, I read your post.
I guess in short, I have to say "I don't know, go see a doctor." That's for a few reasons.
1) I'm not a qualified mental health expert, 2) The term "Schizophrenia," being applied to you is a bit like "Eating Disorder," in that on it's own, it won't tell you much about what you'll experience, the ways it'll get you, and so on.
Some stuff can push you over the edge, so if you're worried, steer clear of hallucinogenic drugs, they won't help you.
It also depends what age you are. By and large, males develop schizophrenic symptoms between 15 and 20 and Females between 20 and 25, and it's worth when you go to see someone to think beforehand if there's anyone in your immediate family with either Schizophrenia, Schizoaffective disorder, or something like that, even stuff like Bipolar, though not in the same strain, can be worth knowing about-gives a good background.
The stuff you describe is pretty...out there. You write well, sometimes people who are articulate enough to describe things in the early stage can be disregarded (it's true that people who are all out schizophrenic are nigh-on unintelligible.) So it's worth it to keep talking to people about stuff. You've done really well to identify this, and although it's a ****ing scary thing to realise you can't trust your own mind as you could even a few weeks previously, there's help out there-even if you're not Schizophrenic, you can have big stuff going on, and it can be sorted out, just takes time, that's all.
All the best,
Simon.
|