Yet more stinking memories.
When I was 14, I went camping in the mountains with my best friend and her parents. My parents had been fighting my slouch since I was 11. A few days into the trip and one of my friends parents noted how much my slouch had eased.
We were camping at a marsh/meadow and I adore wading in mountain streams. On that trip I had 147 mosquito bites in about 4 days. I was a kid, counting them was part of the fun. Mosquitos love blonde skin. The parents gave me a pill that they said was for the bites. Okay, the bites itched. When I got home, Julia shouted at me about it. I can see her now, standing in the door of the tv room, barefoot and uneven without her orthopedic shoes on, a crocheted scarf covering her greasy hair. And of course a mean look on her face.
On my high school trips to Yosemite, there were three of them, we were guided and taught be a private institute. One time the instructor insisted that we were going into a cave that was absolutely dark. The instructor would be in front and give directions to the next person in line etc. I'm claustraphobic and at the time was afraid of the dark. I put myself in line behind the other students, willing to try but not wanting to mess up my other participants. The two teachers from the high school were behind me. No surprise, I freaked out so the instructor had to turn on the flashlight.
The next year, that particular lesson became optional. Some of the other students told me how neat it was. I had to fight for others to accept my saying no, for them to accept my limits.
I was thinking about Jerre a couple of days ago. That stubborn clueless hillbilly has lost two daughter now. I have a half sister I've never met because of a visitation agreement Jerre had with his first wife because the agreement soured. Now because he's stubborn and won't accept my limits and accept me as I am, I'm walking away from him. He's even told me how to vote in the presidential primary election. Julia had a temper tantrum within the last two years because she and I disagreed about a crochet pattern and I called her on interrupting me. She literally stomped away crying. She did that before when I said i did not want to discuss weight and dieting.
When Julia and Jerre put a message in with the Christmas name draw slips a couple of weeks ago, Julia even told me to send an anniversary card to Julia's older sister and her husband, 50 years. Uh...1. they're telling me how to conduct my social life and 2. my uncle in the desert told me something about an event their older sisters' marriage that was awful.
At family events, Julia even nags me to do the dishes. Even after the host/hostess says no thanks. When my grandmother re-married, I did end up doing the dishes at the wedding reception. But then I was bored to tears.
At the present time, I'm trying to let go of what should have been. I don't have to exonerate them. May God forgive Julia and Jerre. I'm not yet able to.
Thanks for reading my run on rant.
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