RYL Forums - View Single Post

blondiebear · 05-03-2008, 07:00 PM

I've talked about this so many times but I can't get it out of my system. Maybe I'm doing it to get attention? It is about how I felt then. I don't feel this way now.

A lot of the time when I think about my teen years, I think about something that happened when I was 15. I was in the hiking club and we were in Yosemite, major mountains and cliffs. I almost fell off a 1400 foot cliff. My teacher pulled me to safety. There have been times since then when I've been feeling horrid and wondered...I don't wonder any more. I'm glad to be alive.

What happened then was about my parents. I'm having a challenging time getting that toxic emotional stuff out of my system. I did another chapter in the child abuse workbook Tuesday evening, one about remembering. There's a reason that my mood all week has been tearful.

Some of my character defects are driving me nuts. One of the prayers I say in the morning includes "I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character that stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows." I so don't get how this doesn't interfere with my usefulness.

Sorry if you're cross-eyed now. Thanks for reading this.

05-03-2008, 07:00 PM	#6
blondiebear Bringing back the lost art of Sewing Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: California Confusion I am currently:	dramatic true story I've talked about this so many times but I can't get it out of my system. Maybe I'm doing it to get attention? It is about how I felt then. I don't feel this way now. A lot of the time when I think about my teen years, I think about something that happened when I was 15. I was in the hiking club and we were in Yosemite, major mountains and cliffs. I almost fell off a 1400 foot cliff. My teacher pulled me to safety. There have been times since then when I've been feeling horrid and wondered...I don't wonder any more. I'm glad to be alive. What happened then was about my parents. I'm having a challenging time getting that toxic emotional stuff out of my system. I did another chapter in the child abuse workbook Tuesday evening, one about remembering. There's a reason that my mood all week has been tearful. Some of my character defects are driving me nuts. One of the prayers I say in the morning includes "I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character that stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows." I so don't get how this doesn't interfere with my usefulness. Sorry if you're cross-eyed now. Thanks for reading this.
	My husband is my best friend. In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.