Originally Posted by
MyApocalypse
I want so badly to be loved. I want to have a normal relationship with my mom, I don't want to feel the need to throw myself out of the moving car everytime I'm with her. I want normal friends, friends who understand me. To them all I am is just someone who complains too much, someone they can walk all over and get what they want with because they know I'm vulnerable and will do anything to keep them around. I'm so ****ing alone.
My life is so empty and meaningless. All I do all day is sit in my room and listen to music wishing I was somewhere else.
I hate myself for these feelings. I have it so much better than a lot of people. That makes me hate myself even more. All I am is a stupid bitch who whines about everything. I need to just die, that's all I want. It's all I've wanted for so long, to be gone.
I'm just ****ed up all around, I'm so far from normal, I hate it. I guess people see me as that girl who was never going anywhere. The freak. I can't tell you how many times people have told me "If you hate the world that much, why are you still here?" To be honest, you stupid ****, I couldn't tell you. I can't tell you what's keeping me here because I have no idea! No, I am not going to tell you I am ending it this very minute, I'm not worth the worry. I just really want things to stop, soon.