So I saw the consultant psych. Told her everything. Turns out I am mentally fine. My 'depression' is circumstancial only. There were no meds offered, I can still see the CPN but though I said it was helpful at the appointment I don't think I will.
All it has done is cement wanting to die. I told her how I was going to and how I had a plan and that it was guaranteed and her response was 'so why aren't you dead then?' When I said because I didn't have enough she just totally backed off.
I'm not to see her again.
The specialist is refusing me access to help to travel to London. My GP only signed me off because she thought I'd be given meds to help stablise me I cannot possibly see how I can get through this at all now. She said I'm obviously low but that's it.
I left the building in tears and have cried pretty much non stop since. I should never have gone. I was going to die anyway but now I know nothing will be done to improve my situation which apparently would depress anyone there is no point at all.
