Nonny

I didn't want to make more than one thread. I didn't really want to make this one. I had one in vets, which I deleted because I felt like a fraud, a liar, pathetic, worthless, stupid, etc, due to some of the things that were said.

Ok, so.


Suicide Dates.
I have a date. I'm sorting out everything so that it's ready and easy for my parents to deal with. But I don't want to die, I feel pushed into it.

I wondered what other people do in the run up to their dates, and then what they do on their dates?

I have this vague idea of taking a mitful of sleeping tablets the day before to keep me safe through it, because, like I said, it's not actually something I want.


Paranoid Delusions
My doc said I suffer from paranoid delusions. Just wondered if anyone else did and how do you deal with it?


Memory
I keep doing things and then forgetting where I am, or what I'm doing, or how to do something really obvious (like driving, making a cup of tea, stuff like that). It's increased greatly since Christmas (since things have got infinitely worse), and I actually feel crazy. I can be driving along and then suddenly forget where I am and where I am going, or I'll get in the car and forget what to do next and just sit and stare and things. Again, just wondered if this happened to anyone else, and again, how you deal with it?


This whole post looks like I'm just trying to find that I'm not alone, which wasn't what I was going for when I started, but was apparently what my brain needed. I just feel very isolated, alone and confused, so anything would be great.

Thanks in advance, and apologies if I delete this, I have a habit of doing that, but at least it will retrieve a more worthy post to this page.