Chapter One:
Critical Voice of Reason
Words twisted and melted, running into each other, forming dark masses tired eyes could not comprehend. The young student fingered her test, a deep sense of agitation displayed in her movements. Voices rose up, soaring in the morning heat and laughter flitted in and out of her unconscious mind. The familiar voice of her English teacher rose up to quieten the rest. The still, awaiting silence allowed for her to calm her anxiety for a moment. Eighty two percent. Eighty two point eight. There was a dark sense of failing that gnawed at her mind. She sunk into the depths of her critical thoughts. The teachers voice disappeared, melting into the heat, blocked out by negative speculation.
Sylvie? a hushed, cautious voice drifted into her mind. A moment passed without answer. Sylvie, you okay?
She deftly turned her head towards the voice. Concerned eyes peered at her from a petite girl's face. A tide of unwanted tears beat against the walls of her eyes. She held them back, reluctant to say anything. Her hand moved to pick up a pencil and she chewed the end in contemplation. She grimaced slightly at the acidic taste that took her mind towards her stress. A nervous flight of butterflies ripped through her stomach. The weight of the upcoming afternoon felt heavy on her shoulders.
I'm fine, she whispered shortly, with an ingenuous smile.
It was the harsh shrilling of the bell that ended the day that gave her grace. The day had stretched out like a never ending line, inked in black against dry parchment and now it was rushing towards the time she had dreaded.
They sat there, like two judges. One with impossible questions with no answers but the wrong one. The other, finding the sore spots, and begging for them to be spoken about. The psychologist's office seemed too big, too distant, growing in the awaiting silence. Sylvie averted her eyes from them both. She twisted her hands in her lap, frustrated with her lack of words. A gentle knock was heard from the door. Silisia smiled apologetically and with a quick apology went to see to her children. Grateful for the interruption, she gently lent her head against the motherly figure next to her. A tender hand stroked her hair as a silent understanding passed between them without words.
Sorry again, Silisia said gently taking her seat across from Sylvie. There shouldn't be any interruptions. Just one of those days.
She laughed with a voice that had a calming quality. Xella gently reached out to hold her hand as Sylvie lifted her head. Their eyes still awaited an answer to a question that she had no idea what the answer was. The agitation arose again.
I-I don't...know. I can't say. Not now, as she stumbled through the words, a sense of frustration washing over her. To be tongue tied when it came to the moment to finally speak about everything that she kept inside, that hurt her, just discouraged the thought of finally healing. Tears stung her eyes, as she looked away. She felt Xella gently squeeze her hand, calming the turmoil momentarily.
You're not supposed to know the answers or have the words. That's why we're here, Silisia whispered softly, giving her the grace that the critical voices of her mind could not.