[HideousKinky]

I was convinced all along that I knew what the worst day of my life so far has been. Until yesterday, my grandma's funeral. God I hate funerals. Thats the only one ive been to of a close relative. I wouldnt let myself cry because I had to read two poems, I stood up there shaking and I looked around the room as I said them but I couldnt look in anyones faces, my grandad looked utterly heartbroken. I cried once i sat down, especially when the music played and all I could think about was how my lovely little grandma was in a box about to be burnt to ashes and how much i just wanted her back. I have no idea how im supposed to feel about all of this, death is such a strange thing. How can something so natural and inevitable, something we are surrounded by day by day and something that to animals is as much a part of life as living is, have become something so awful and tragic. Maybe we have evolved too far. I dunno, what a question...