hey hun, I am sorry you want to SI now but I guess it is a fairly natural reaction to suddenly realising you won't do something again. Your kitten sounds really cool though.... is it a girl or boy (sorry I have a slight cat thing lol). I hope things go ok for you with the surgery, this is the proper opening of a completely new chapter of your life. One filled with opportunity, love, hope and happiness- celebrate that. Hope you are ok
Emma x
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