Well first, you're not wasting anyone's time by posting. We read this because we care and we choose to. I'm so proud of you for working and taking courses. I know it probably doesn't mean much, but I think that's great.
When you say "controlling how you're feeling," do you mean feeling nothing? Or changing your feelings?
Talking about your feelings isn't selfish. I mean, there are ways to do it that are selfish, but posting on a board to people who want to hear it is not selfish. (For my next trick, I'll look in the mirror when I'm saying that:P) If talking helps, then talk. We may not always know how to respond, but we do care. *hugs*
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