Don't ever apologize for posting--you deserve help and attention as much as anyone else! But I'm kind of the same way as far as posting but never replying so I know how you feel.
I'm sorry you're feeling this way, but it's ok if you're not ready to be that open with your therapist yet. Just take care of yourself. I know it's tough but try to find something that calms you down or distracts you.
sorry I can't be more helpful, just wanted you to know someone actually read this.
*hugs*
stay safe.
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