RYL Forums - View Single Post - supervised visits with my son *lots of triggers*

pea soup · 11-06-2007, 05:58 AM

so yeah....more news.

my aunt called today to congratulate my mother on the marriage.
THEN she decided to tell me that i cant see keith anymore unless im with she or my uncle. she has been seeing a counselor and trying to learn about my illness as she says. HER counselor told her that he didnt need to be with me unsupervised.

i CAN handle that part. thats not the problem. THE PROBLEM is that she wont trust my mother or sister or anyone else beside she or my uncle. this means that keith cant come to stay with my mother or sister or anyone anymore.

i want to tear my skin off. i want to take every pill i have. i just want to disappear. IM the common denominator here!!!!! REMOVE me and all is WELL!!!!!

how is that so hard for people to understanmd????
god damnit!!!

so...the reason keith REALLY isnt coming for his birthday is because my aunt isnt ready to "deal" with me yet. ITS ALL ME!!!!! I WANT MY SON TO BE HAPPY!!! AND THE WAY I SEE FOR THAT TO HAPPEN IS TO REMOVE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!

my aunt called back to ask me to "please not kill yourself over this or i would feel awful" awwwww....bless her ****ing heart. i would HATE for her to feel bad.

my world has completely changed with the news of having to move and now this. things have gone from semi-ok to total chaos in 24 hours.

the heavyness is sinking back in. im falling under again and i cant breathe.

and im really sorry for the amount of threads i have atm.....i didnt know what else to do.
thanks.

11-06-2007, 05:58 AM	#1
pea soup Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: at the end of the rainbow I am currently:	supervised visits with my son lots of triggers so yeah....more news. my aunt called today to congratulate my mother on the marriage. THEN she decided to tell me that i cant see keith anymore unless im with she or my uncle. she has been seeing a counselor and trying to learn about my illness as she says. HER counselor told her that he didnt need to be with me unsupervised. i CAN handle that part. thats not the problem. THE PROBLEM is that she wont trust my mother or sister or anyone else beside she or my uncle. this means that keith cant come to stay with my mother or sister or anyone anymore. i want to tear my skin off. i want to take every pill i have. i just want to disappear. IM the common denominator here!!!!! REMOVE me and all is WELL!!!!! how is that so hard for people to understanmd???? god damnit!!! so...the reason keith REALLY isnt coming for his birthday is because my aunt isnt ready to "deal" with me yet. ITS ALL ME!!!!! I WANT MY SON TO BE HAPPY!!! AND THE WAY I SEE FOR THAT TO HAPPEN IS TO REMOVE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! my aunt called back to ask me to "please not kill yourself over this or i would feel awful" awwwww....bless her ****ing heart. i would HATE for her to feel bad. my world has completely changed with the news of having to move and now this. things have gone from semi-ok to total chaos in 24 hours. the heavyness is sinking back in. im falling under again and i cant breathe. and im really sorry for the amount of threads i have atm.....i didnt know what else to do. thanks.