I would be coming off Abilify (20mg).
It is for Borderline Personality Disorder with psychotic features, depression, ocd, nightmares etc. I am having problems with disassociation and intense moods with suicidal or serious self harm ideation (and actions although I am really trying to stop). Also I have extremely bad nightmares, which although I Should be used to continue to reach terrifying heights.
I have been on three of the atypical antipsychotics, risperadone, amisulpiride and abilify. I won't go on olanzapine because of the weight gain (which I've seen in hospital with my own eyes).
I have also been in and out of hospital for a long time as you know, and at the moment I am out and want to stay that way, although my doctor did ask if I Wanted to come in over the weekend and I said no.
I have been on prozac, sertraline, citalopram, clomipramine amonst other anti-d's, clomipramine is the only one to have had any effect on my ocd and anxiety (none of them have done anything for my depression and 'affected moods').
I am on timazepam for my sleep and nightmares/ night terrors but it just helps me to sleep, it has noeffect on the nightmares. I was on zolpiclone for two and a half years so that doesn't work anymore, and again had no effect on nightmares.
I would have thought stelazine would e like the last of the old antipsychotics to try. They're also talking about trying me on a mood stabiliser. I'm quite scared of it all really, I'll do what they tell me because I do want to get better and I can't live the way I am at the moment, (And I don't want to be sectioned) but stelazine sounds so risky and a last resort, they've mentioned carbomazine or something like that and also halpirodol too.
On top of the medication I am on at the moment (citalopram, clomipramine, abilify, timazepam) I am on prn diazepam which also helps, but you know it's not a long term medication.
They've also talked about the cassel (which I said no too, I've spent enough time in institutions) and the specialist has suggested depot medication (injections) which is scary too.
I think I would be better if they could give me psychotherapy or CBT or something but you know how far stretched the NHS is. And because of my hsitory no one wants to take me on because they say I'll need long term and intense therapy and they can't do that because the services are all being changed around.
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