[pea soup]

hi guys...

im really sorry for not being around lately.
things have been hard.
the flashbacks are coming at an alarming rate. and they are physically painful as if it really has happened all over again. ive been in bed for days.

tomorrow is the 6th month anniversary of my father's death. i made a promise to take my life on that day. Kelly is going to help me through it but im still really really really scared.

my state of mind isnt good. ive already had a flashback today and just feel like poo. however, the docs say that all these flashbacks are a sign of healing. so if i can just hold on and get through this, i may come out better on the other side.

my sister called and told me that a friend of ours died this morning. ive known him since high school. he was only 28. died of a heart attack. he was my sister's first boyfriend. shes really messed up about it. everything just sucks right now.

i understand this post could be hard to reply to....but could i just have some hugs please?
love to all.
xxxxxxxxx