Thanks. Yeah, all my mates have been telling me to go to the doctors and I really want help and to get better but it doesn't look like that when I go in and just sit in silence but thats all I can sometimes do because I don't trust anyone at all. The only thing is, for one tihng or another I've been to the doctors such a lot recently and I don't want them thinking I'm just attention seeking, it's like once every fortnight minimum pretty much I'm there at the moment and absolutely hate it so they'll probably just decide I'm lying or something and not care but I really have had a lot of reasons to go that often.
God, I wanna cut so bad and the thoughts that I'm so determined that my consultant won't see any cuts on me (I had an op over the summer so he found out I cut then... and keeps checking I'm getting help which is annoying but I suppose he's got my best interests at heart!) that I know I can't cut even though I keep thinking of all the places I can cut that he won't see which doesn't help because I'll just slip straight back into cutting daily at the moment which I really don't want.
I just wish I could go to sleep and everything would be sorted out the next day when I woke but I know thats not going to happen. I'm just really hoping nothing else goes wrong at the moment, I've got enough to deal with!
Sorry I just sound like a complaining old woman!! I'm just not in the best of moods (as if thatt wasn't already noticeable lol). Thanks, you seem like a really nice person, hope you're ok yourself.
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