I dont think I can write down what I want to say to him though. I know I can put things on here but I still miss loads out and then its so much harder when I know someones gonna listen to me/ read something about me when they know who I am. I know in reality suicide isnt the answer, I won't do it coz it's got an effect on others (if anyone actually cares) I've just had enough of this constant pain and all the other things. I've had panic attacks a few hours later before when I've told doctors/psych's stuff so now I'm even more weary than I first was but I guess all I have to do is go in and say CBT isn't working... how hard can that be?! I'm just stupid to be so bothered about these things.
I just want a break and all I keep thinking of (and whats been at the back of my mind for around 2 weks now) is that cutting would help me to get through but I know its not the answer and it'd only lead to more problems (and if college find out I don't know what would happen, dread to think because its another thing wrong with me)
Thanks for listening/ replying anyway, I really appreciate it at the moment
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