You aren't wasting anyone's time at all, we are here to support you and help you as much as we can sweety. Suicide isn't the answer sweety, you need to keep fighting and keep pushing your way through this.
Can you write down what you plan to say to your doctor, in case you find you can't speak? At least then, they'll still be able to know what's going on so they can help you. Talk to your college about your email account, they'll be able to sort out the problems for you.
Keep strong sweety xxx
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