Thank you all for the advise and kind words. I really appreciate it, even though I'm having difficulty writing a good reply to each of you.
Has anyone ever made fun of you?
I have been bullied occasionally.. but I don't think it's anything important/immense. I haven't suffered abuse, really.
I'm so scared to get help, for reasons in my other topic and just in general... I can't face to tell my mother and saying it to my GP is a terrifying thought. But I do need help. I'm starting to lose all sense of rationality. The voices got me as soon as I woke up this morning. I started agreeing with them, I don't know why. They started talking about who I should target. I went along with it, for some reason.
At least I've managed to gain some sense of reality, at this point. I'm not going to hurt anyone. I won't listen to the voices. They're laughing at me now, seeing me type this... but I won't. I won't.