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it hurts
it hurts so much. i like her so much. i think i might even love her. but it's never going to be what i want. i burned myself with a cigarette last night just to feel something else. just a minor slip up. nothing big. i just want her. and i want her to want me. at least she knows everything and she doesn't feel awkward around me. i just hate holding back. i want her all the time. this is killing me.
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