First of all, you do deserve support... everyone needs a listening ear at some point and I am glad you have made a post. It's so hard when you can feel all your trust for people slipping away, especially if you have been hurt and betrayed many times in the past. Lonliness can feel like part of your heart missing, even numbness that doesn't go away. It may not be any consolation but you are never alone here. Urges are so easy to give into when your are feeling alone or are physically alone but remember how well you have done before. You know that you have beaten urges before. Is there anything that you could do to release these urges healthily? Perhaps writing (or scribbling if you feel overly angry), exercise? art? Perhaps even brainstorming your feelings can help you to understand why you feel like this. Hurting yourself may help you to deal for those few moments, but then what? In the long run it can't make things go away.
We are here to listen if you want to rant about your feelings or talk some more. Take care.
Love and best wishes,
Sophie.x
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