Thank you everyone for the support, it means the world.
They say that it will get easier, I am still just waiting for that to happen. This five day old baby boy had such a huge impact on my heart. Being with him the full 5 days and looking at his eyes just looking all around. They were beautiful eyes. It still Hurts. It still hurts so much. I had never seen a coffin so small. It is just not fair.
There is barely any time in the day that I do not think of you Jacob. You have a big picture in a frame right next to my bed. You are the next thing I see before I shut my eyes. Mommy is doing better baby, she is staying with relatives to make sure that she is okay. She loved you more then her whole life Jacob. She really was not ready to let you go to heaven yet. Daddy is going to go back to work this week for a few days. Nobody is moving on to forget you baby, that is impossible. We are tying to grasp on that we have a new guardian Angel on each of our shoulders. I miss you so much. I can't wait until the day I can see you again, free from all of the tubes and IVs. oh! And guess what? There is a plaque on the wall at the hospital for you.. you made a huge impact on them too. They set up a memorial that will forever be there. God I miss you, I cry for you all of the time. We all miss you so much. I love you Jacob, I will talk to you in my prayers tonight.
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