[strawberry snow]

I don't know what to do. I don't even know what to type. I feel like I'm slowly going mad. There's all this stuff just fizzing inside me and I just want to scream and shout and kick and fu*king hurt.

I'm fed-up of being disappointed with life. I'm fed up of what's around me. I'm bored. I'm filled with rage. Everbody thinks I'm this little girl who struggles with life but is beginning to see how they all manage. That I'm some pathetic freak who can't even deal with the most obvious of stuff. That they're smarter, funnier, superior.

Why can't they just fu*king see that they're not. That it's more that this is who I have to be. This is how I please. This is not me.

I need to cut so badly. I've been thinking about it non-stop for as long as I can remember. It and all the sick things that go with it. All I want to do is tear myself apart. One way or another.

I've just had enough. I don't see how this sh*t will ever end.I don't see a happy future for myself. I don't see anything that will ever make me want to be here. And I've no idea what to do.