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Broken Promise
Earlier this week I promised a friend that I wanted to change, I want to stop SI (which at the time was true etc) - yesterday I had my appointment with my counsellor - it was a good session, but I drove home like a complete loonie, racing off at traffic lights, playing loud music and using excessive speed (in open countryside only). Today I woke up and the pain in my head was banging on and all I could think about was SI, so knowing that I made a promise to a friend and a bit to myself I couldnt stop myself cutting.
Well know I feel guilty that I have broken a promise to my friend, but I dont feel as guilty inside myself....why would that be? The pain in my head has subsided and I can concentrate on my work again. But also I know it is wrong to SI and this impacts onto other areas of my life.... it is all so confusing, which ever way I seem to turn I hit a brick wall it is frustrating too.
Gutted with myself for my actions!
FORD
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