RYL Forums - View Single Post - Just relapsed after over three years... help!

only2fail · 02-01-2008, 01:31 AM

I self-harmed for the first time since July '04 last night. I burned both of my legs pretty badly... definitely second degree. I had moved on to burns because the pain lasts longer.

I've been struggling with the temptation to SI, again, for a while. The band I worked for for four years just retired in April and I have had a hard time just being at home and not being able to be on the road and see these guys -- they were such an amazing support for me!

My family is incredible, but they would feel SO badly if they knew I was doing this, again. I *know* I need help, but I actually work in in-patient Mental Health and couldn't stand the stigma/helplessness/hopelessness of it all. I'm tempted to make an anonymous call on myself, but I don't have the guts. My logical side is fully intact and I can't help but think about what would happen to my house, my job, my family...... I just don't know what to do.

I'm pretty sure I have Depersonalization Disorder and I have just been trying to find a way to keep things real -- to really FEEL.

Any suggestions..............?????

02-01-2008, 01:31 AM	#1
only2fail Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: USA I am currently:	Just relapsed after over three years... help! I self-harmed for the first time since July '04 last night. I burned both of my legs pretty badly... definitely second degree. I had moved on to burns because the pain lasts longer. I've been struggling with the temptation to SI, again, for a while. The band I worked for for four years just retired in April and I have had a hard time just being at home and not being able to be on the road and see these guys -- they were such an amazing support for me! My family is incredible, but they would feel SO badly if they knew I was doing this, again. I know I need help, but I actually work in in-patient Mental Health and couldn't stand the stigma/helplessness/hopelessness of it all. I'm tempted to make an anonymous call on myself, but I don't have the guts. My logical side is fully intact and I can't help but think about what would happen to my house, my job, my family...... I just don't know what to do. I'm pretty sure I have Depersonalization Disorder and I have just been trying to find a way to keep things real -- to really FEEL. Any suggestions..............?????