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I'm sorry.
I haven't been around much lately. Usual excuses - hard time, busy, working and blocks on RYL there etc etc. Doesn't excuse it really.
I'm sorry I'm just Not Good Enough. I honestly try my best but my best is never good enough. Being me isn't good enough. I get home for five minutes after being away and it's just URGH. It makes me want to pull my hair out or smash my face in or just something. It's horrible.
I miss my friends. I miss Uni. I miss feeling safe and loved. I miss feeling like someone special. I miss cutting. After my last couple I said I'd give up but I just want to so so so much.
I went to see "I am legend" last night. Sat through 40 minutes and had to leave I was so scared. It's a ****ing 15. The person I was with wasn't amused. Anyway, I don't think he, or anyone, realises that I am actually petrified now. I honestly didn't think it'd be as bad as it was. And now I'm jumpy as **** and stuff. I couldn't sleep last night I was so scared, even though one of the few people I trust 100% was in the same room as me. I couldn't even have a ****ing shower incase a zombie was on the other side of the shower curtain.
I suck.
And I feel like the most alone person in the world ever right now.
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