30 is the new best age of your life. :)
But seriously, I do know how it is to be very unemotional and cold about these type of things. I think it happens when you've so convinced yourself of something, it becomes part of your predictable future. Like "tomorrow I'm going to the grocery store", "I'm an intrinsically bad person", "I think in five years I'll probably be in medical school", "I'll kill myself in a few years".
Always scares me too. But if you can convince yourself it will happen, it's just as easy to convince yourself that it won't happen. Just takes time.
*hugs*
Hope you start feeling better about your situation soon. PM me if you like...I'm around a few times a day. I'm all about listening to rants. :)
D'Arcy
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