Add my vote to Monarkh's. You are NOT a freak.
You're just like the rest of us, insecure. I even over analyze friendships. Especially if a friend cancels on me when we were supposed to get together.
I've been married for 18 years. Sometimes I still wonder about it. I asked him out the first time, by asking him if I was going to ask him out of if he was going to ask me out. I brought up the subject of marriage first.
I was married years before most of my friends were. Because I wanted security.
My husband ignores it when I SI. When I ask for a hug or tell him that I need to cry on his shoulder, he's there.
You're not a fool. Give him time to remember why he broke up with his ex. When I broke up with the guy I was dating before I started dating my husband I was sad about it. I still had feelings for him but we were not suited to marry.
Hang out with your friends. Take care of yourself. You are worth loving.
Hugs.
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