Claire,
Is there anything that has triggered all this off?
It might be worth going to speak to your doctor about it all, because taking ODs will not be doing you any good. And although you say you don't care if you live or not, you must care a little bit or else you wouldn't have posted.
It's difficult to "snap out of" a cycle like that, but if you try your hardest to fight the urges to cut and OD, it will get easier over time.
Also, you are no way at all fat. I've met you (dunno if you'll remember me or not) and you're lovely and beautiful. It might not mean much coming from me, but i honestly mean it.
Take care of yourself,
and I would have a serious think about speaking to your doctor and getting some help, because it sounds like you really need it.
Steph xx
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